Stay away from her, she’s lovely.

On being the toxic friend, from beginning to end.

Illustration by ajsaajsaajsa

I thought it was never going to happen, but I’ve finally gathered my peanuts in a bowl, mushed them to a thick, crunchy paste, and can say that I’m finally ready to spread this peanut butter to the far corners of the slice of toast that is what you’re about to read.